Buzz's Bedtime Stories

Part Two of Two. Tonight’s “Buzz’s Bedtime Stories.” Last night we talked about an Air Force mission I flew when I was a really young C-141 pilot and aircraft commander and was tasked with flying a US Embassy support trip around Africa. Mostly, we were carrying US diplomats, Marines, secret classified correspondence, and fun treats like American whiskey and steaks for our embassies. They enjoyed a taste of home and we were happy to deliver it. Our initial mission was to fly from Charleston AFB, South Carolina, to Bermuda, Senegal, Liberia, Zaire, and Kenya. Then, back to the US. It was a busy mission. During a long first day, after Bermuda and Senegal, we were transiting Monrovia, Liberia to deplane our passengers, get some gas, and then were fragged to head on to Kinshasa, Zaire for some crew rest (layover.) As we chatted about last night in Part One, we unknowingly ate “monkey burgers” in Liberia. And we survived. If you missed it, scroll back. 😉 We then flew on to Zaire. Tonight, in Part Two, we experience the rest of that trip. After laying over in Kinshasa (a very interesting experience featuring a witch doctor burning shit in the streets at night outside the US Embassy), the USAF asked us to fly a plane full of Zairean military to N’Djamena, Chad. Libya and Muammar Gadhaffi had attacked Chad and Zaire had pledged their support to Chad. We were flying troops from the Zairean military to join forces with Chad to repel Gadhaffi. It was not on our agenda but the State Department asked us to intervene. “OK,” I said. “Let’s go.” (Honestly, at the time, I had no idea where Chad was. It is the biggest shithole I’ve ever visited). The next morning, we loaded up the Zairean troops and, unbeknownst to me, the aircraft commander, they decided to sacrifice a goat on my aircraft. Apparently, it’s their thing. On the back ramp where the troops boarded along with pallets of cargo, they killed the goat and tossed it, blood and all, on top of a pallet of their food. Some sort of spiritual ritual that guarantees them a safe flight. While the sacrifice was in progress, one of my loadmasters called me on the intercom and said, “Sir, you need to come back and see this. You’re not going to believe it.” At the time, I was running checklists in the cockpit but I jumped out of my seat and went back to look. By the time I got there, there was goat blood all over the back of the jet and a dead carcass on top of a pallet. I looked at the loadmasters and said, “Oh well, I guess we’re going with it. I can’t imagine telling 180 Zairean military dudes they can’t go to war.” They laughed. We flew them to Chad and we flew back to Charleston all in the same day. It was another super long day. When we landed back at our home base, the US Customs & Agriculture guys met us as they always did for international flights. They walked to the back of the aircraft. We had goat blood, flour, and Zairean Army piss all over our aircraft. They looked at me with dropped jaws. I shrugged my shoulders. “Hey man, we just flew home from a war in Chad.” They impounded the plane. I walked to my car in the squadron parking lot and I drove home. Wasn’t my deal. Just another day flying the line.